Post by averant on Aug 11, 2009 13:30:37 GMT -5
This is the first book that I've decided to pursue at the moment. I have another one on the wing waiting to be written, called Fiction, but I'm going to concentrate on this until I finish it. I myself think of my writing in the first chapter as horribly sparse, but I want others' take on it too, so fire away, critics.
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I’m not all that sure what how I knew it was coming. I know I was warned several times, but I never realized that what I felt was actually a warning.
It started like this. It’s a bright, sunny, hot, humid day. I – Gerald Rickson – was headed for the beach with my family tagging along and generally messing up the fun time I was supposed to have. Families do that, unfortunately, which is one reason I can’t wait to get off to college next year. This was meant to be my vacation, and I paid for it with my money! $2,000, to be exact. One thousand for the plane ticket, and then another one thousand for the hotel, rental car, and food. My parents, unfortunately, didn’t seem to get the oh so subtle message that I gave them which clearly said “I go ALONE”. That message came in the form of a ticket for a single person. A single person, you hear? And within minutes of my getting home, six more people are going on this plane with me, with half of them under ten years old.
Oh, joy.
Since I’m now stuck with three mindless bundles of glee (emphasis on mindless), one sly, annoying tech hog (emphasis on annoying), and two ignorant, self-important watchdogs (double emphasis on ignorant. Yes, I mean it, too.), I will, without a doubt, spend this entire “vacation” with a migraine. I seem to be more prone to those, lately. I wonder why.
Anyway, after spending an entire afternoon in the car with the extremely ungodly phrase of “Are we there yet?” running through my head, the airport came into view. Then came the not-quite-as-ungodly-but-still-pretty-dang-ungodly “Plane! Plane! We’re gonna go on a pla-a-a-ain.”
I think you can see why I hate my family. This goes on all the time, did I mention? Everywhere. Everywhere! I can’t stress that enough, they do it so much. I personally find it amazing I’ve survived until the end of high school.
It takes a while, but we finally get in line for the plane. I’ve got my ticket in my wallet, and my wallet clutched tightly in my hand, so one of the brats doesn’t get hold of it. I would personally kill them if they tore up my ticket. The problem was that this is where it really started. Not in the car, not at home. Here. Here is where I felt a slight tingle, like a small electrical shock making its way up may back. Naturally, I didn’t turn back. I didn’t even think about it. After all, who would interpret a tingle to be a warning that my life is going to go insane? Anybody? Anybody? Any takers?
Didn’t think so. Now, while I had my seat reserved, the flight was delayed. So, while I got through the line quickly enough, it didn’t do diddly squat to help me pass the time. I might have been able to stand it… if the kids weren’t (naturally) singing a Barney song. I could already feel a headache coming on. This was going to be a longer vacation than I had wanted.
Over an hour later, the plane landed, and the umbilical docking cord connected, I warily trudged onward, with my family doing their best to drive me to kill someone. Then, when I passed over the connector’s threshold, I felt it again. I noticed it this time, gave it a vague thought, and then turned my attention back to the nuisance that just attached itself to my leg. By the time I had my little sibling unattached, it happened again! This time it was when I walked into the plane itself, and it was becoming a minor problem for me now. I wasn’t sick, am I? I thought. It would be so typical of my luck if I was. But then, maybe I’ll be able to spend the time at home, alone. Alone… There’s a nice idea.
My seat was in 2nd class, so naturally my family was there as well. Honestly, my family is like a pack of loyal, dumb dogs. They follow me anywhere I go, wanting to play with me. I suppose you’re thinking I shouldn’t be too hard on them, yes? Be kinder to them, open up, and maybe they’ll understand enough to leave you alone, yes?
You’ve never lived with them, yes?
It’s true, I have a sharp tongue. Don’t most people my age? I’ve tried opening up to them, and I’ve tried being more understanding. It was one of the worst mistakes in my life, let me tell you. This just emphasizes what a mistake God made, putting me with them. I never asked for this, and I certainly never did anything to deserve it. Just one of the many pieces of evidence in my life that proves that God hates me.
Once I found my seat, I did the natural thing. That is, I sat down. Amazing what bending one’s legs can do. This was when I felt a fourth tingle. By now I was starting to get pretty worried. There wasn’t anything wrong with me, was there? No nervous breakdowns, no spinal damage? No harm done to me of any kind? No, nothing except tingles.
I hurriedly stood back up and moved to the back of the plane. Something is wrong, I thought. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I’m sure there is something wrong. What can it be? Aside from the obvious problem, which is my family, I don’t know anything that could be wrong. Clothes, yes. Backpack, yes. Money, yes. Glasses, invitation, plane ticket, comb, soap, beach towel, suntan lotion? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! It was there, hovering in the back of my mind like a spider waiting for a fly. Trouble was there, and it was following me. Call it a primal instinct, but I just knew I was in trouble, some way or another.
Come to think of it, there was a time when I felt these weird tingles. The past suddenly flashed past in my mind’s eye. I was playing in a tree with a neighborhood kid, and we were having tons of fun. We didn’t want to get down. Then when I was swinging, I felt something, like a leaf running down my back. I swung to the nearest branch and checked, but I lost my balance and fell. I blacked out when I hit the ground. A rock did me in, I think.
Then, surrounded by darkness, I heard something. Some kind of high, staccato bark.
And then I woke up. I was lying in a hospital room with my family gathered around me.
I remember every part perfectly, except for the blackout, which is only natural, I suppose. But there was a noise, even if I can’t figure out what it was. I keep telling myself that it’ll come to me eventually. I moved back to my seat and sat down tentatively. No tingle. I sighed in relief, my nerves standing on end, just waiting for the disaster to come.
The intercom crackled to life. “Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for flying with Airlines International. This will be a nonstop trip to Orlando, Florida, so be prepared for a five hour flight. The refreshments will be around in…” Nothing else was of use, so I toned it out and pulled out my IPod so I could listen to music.
“…put it on the infant first. Also, please do not use any electronic appliances until we are over five thousand feet, at which time a light will signal that they can be used and seatbelts can be unlocked. Thank you!”
I groaned and flopped back in my seat. A brother immediately attacked me in an effort to grab my IPod. I smacked him away rather forcefully, making him wail out loud. A second later he was silenced as my mother crushed him in a hug. The poor kid; Mom’s hugs were much more painful than my hits.
Three hours later, we were up in the air and heading off to Orlando for one hell of a vacation (I meant that in the literal sense). I was running out of songs, my patience already gone. I stood up and moved to the back of the plane once again. There was still another two hours of the flight left. I’d never make it through that. I started pacing, deciding what to do. Do I hide myself in a compartment? Lock myself in the bathroom? Throw myself out of the plane while it was still ten thousand feet up in the air?
Then, just as suddenly as I had started pacing, I stopped. I knew what I’d do. If my family couldn’t take subtle hints, maybe they’d recognize a direct order.
The tingle happened once again, but since nothing horrible had happened yet, I dismissed it as nerve problems. It was just a coincidence when I was a kid. Nothing more. I turned to start walking back, but stopped short when a huge groan sounded all around me. Something pinged, and a split second later some metal object hit my cheek. I caught it on the rebound and looked at it. It was a metal bolt, like one that holds armor plates together. I was still staring at it without comprehension when I was thrown against the wall by a huge jolt. Broken from my daze, I ran forward to get back to my seat.
And that was when the tail of the plane was ripped away. So much for that warning, huh?
Had I been one step behind where I was right then, I would have fallen with the rest of the plane. As it happens, it didn’t matter where I stood. It still wanted me.
When the tail was ripped away from the fuselage, I had just put a foot on safe ground, floor that wasn’t going to rip away. No one had turned around yet, and in that frozen moment it seemed like it hadn’t really happened, like it was all a particularly twisted daydream. I couldn’t see any faces, and nobody was turned towards me and looking disaster in the face. Nobody but him.
My father.
He had a hand in the doorway, with the other in a pocket, and was standing like a man without a care in the world. He wasn’t rigid with shock, even though his face showed it. His face was just a mask with eyeholes, and they were what gave him away. His eyes were wide, but not with fright. They danced wickedly, with almost a feverish glitter, as if he had just told a particularly funny joke.
And in that second, I knew he had caused this. I saw the hand in his pocket come out, and with perceptiveness beyond anything I had ever known, I knew what was going to happen. I knew all too well what was going to become of me. I watched it twitch out in something akin to a “Shoo” command. Wind rushed in front of me, gathering up into a mighty blast, and I could feel it rushing past me. Then my feet were suddenly lifted off the floor as the plane pitched again, and the wind rushed forward and slammed into me like a brick wall, lifting me up, and carrying me out.
And out.
And out.
And down.
And down.
And down…
And I saw one word form on his lips as I fell.
Goodbye.
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I’m not all that sure what how I knew it was coming. I know I was warned several times, but I never realized that what I felt was actually a warning.
It started like this. It’s a bright, sunny, hot, humid day. I – Gerald Rickson – was headed for the beach with my family tagging along and generally messing up the fun time I was supposed to have. Families do that, unfortunately, which is one reason I can’t wait to get off to college next year. This was meant to be my vacation, and I paid for it with my money! $2,000, to be exact. One thousand for the plane ticket, and then another one thousand for the hotel, rental car, and food. My parents, unfortunately, didn’t seem to get the oh so subtle message that I gave them which clearly said “I go ALONE”. That message came in the form of a ticket for a single person. A single person, you hear? And within minutes of my getting home, six more people are going on this plane with me, with half of them under ten years old.
Oh, joy.
Since I’m now stuck with three mindless bundles of glee (emphasis on mindless), one sly, annoying tech hog (emphasis on annoying), and two ignorant, self-important watchdogs (double emphasis on ignorant. Yes, I mean it, too.), I will, without a doubt, spend this entire “vacation” with a migraine. I seem to be more prone to those, lately. I wonder why.
Anyway, after spending an entire afternoon in the car with the extremely ungodly phrase of “Are we there yet?” running through my head, the airport came into view. Then came the not-quite-as-ungodly-but-still-pretty-dang-ungodly “Plane! Plane! We’re gonna go on a pla-a-a-ain.”
I think you can see why I hate my family. This goes on all the time, did I mention? Everywhere. Everywhere! I can’t stress that enough, they do it so much. I personally find it amazing I’ve survived until the end of high school.
It takes a while, but we finally get in line for the plane. I’ve got my ticket in my wallet, and my wallet clutched tightly in my hand, so one of the brats doesn’t get hold of it. I would personally kill them if they tore up my ticket. The problem was that this is where it really started. Not in the car, not at home. Here. Here is where I felt a slight tingle, like a small electrical shock making its way up may back. Naturally, I didn’t turn back. I didn’t even think about it. After all, who would interpret a tingle to be a warning that my life is going to go insane? Anybody? Anybody? Any takers?
Didn’t think so. Now, while I had my seat reserved, the flight was delayed. So, while I got through the line quickly enough, it didn’t do diddly squat to help me pass the time. I might have been able to stand it… if the kids weren’t (naturally) singing a Barney song. I could already feel a headache coming on. This was going to be a longer vacation than I had wanted.
Over an hour later, the plane landed, and the umbilical docking cord connected, I warily trudged onward, with my family doing their best to drive me to kill someone. Then, when I passed over the connector’s threshold, I felt it again. I noticed it this time, gave it a vague thought, and then turned my attention back to the nuisance that just attached itself to my leg. By the time I had my little sibling unattached, it happened again! This time it was when I walked into the plane itself, and it was becoming a minor problem for me now. I wasn’t sick, am I? I thought. It would be so typical of my luck if I was. But then, maybe I’ll be able to spend the time at home, alone. Alone… There’s a nice idea.
My seat was in 2nd class, so naturally my family was there as well. Honestly, my family is like a pack of loyal, dumb dogs. They follow me anywhere I go, wanting to play with me. I suppose you’re thinking I shouldn’t be too hard on them, yes? Be kinder to them, open up, and maybe they’ll understand enough to leave you alone, yes?
You’ve never lived with them, yes?
It’s true, I have a sharp tongue. Don’t most people my age? I’ve tried opening up to them, and I’ve tried being more understanding. It was one of the worst mistakes in my life, let me tell you. This just emphasizes what a mistake God made, putting me with them. I never asked for this, and I certainly never did anything to deserve it. Just one of the many pieces of evidence in my life that proves that God hates me.
Once I found my seat, I did the natural thing. That is, I sat down. Amazing what bending one’s legs can do. This was when I felt a fourth tingle. By now I was starting to get pretty worried. There wasn’t anything wrong with me, was there? No nervous breakdowns, no spinal damage? No harm done to me of any kind? No, nothing except tingles.
I hurriedly stood back up and moved to the back of the plane. Something is wrong, I thought. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I’m sure there is something wrong. What can it be? Aside from the obvious problem, which is my family, I don’t know anything that could be wrong. Clothes, yes. Backpack, yes. Money, yes. Glasses, invitation, plane ticket, comb, soap, beach towel, suntan lotion? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! It was there, hovering in the back of my mind like a spider waiting for a fly. Trouble was there, and it was following me. Call it a primal instinct, but I just knew I was in trouble, some way or another.
Come to think of it, there was a time when I felt these weird tingles. The past suddenly flashed past in my mind’s eye. I was playing in a tree with a neighborhood kid, and we were having tons of fun. We didn’t want to get down. Then when I was swinging, I felt something, like a leaf running down my back. I swung to the nearest branch and checked, but I lost my balance and fell. I blacked out when I hit the ground. A rock did me in, I think.
Then, surrounded by darkness, I heard something. Some kind of high, staccato bark.
And then I woke up. I was lying in a hospital room with my family gathered around me.
I remember every part perfectly, except for the blackout, which is only natural, I suppose. But there was a noise, even if I can’t figure out what it was. I keep telling myself that it’ll come to me eventually. I moved back to my seat and sat down tentatively. No tingle. I sighed in relief, my nerves standing on end, just waiting for the disaster to come.
The intercom crackled to life. “Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for flying with Airlines International. This will be a nonstop trip to Orlando, Florida, so be prepared for a five hour flight. The refreshments will be around in…” Nothing else was of use, so I toned it out and pulled out my IPod so I could listen to music.
“…put it on the infant first. Also, please do not use any electronic appliances until we are over five thousand feet, at which time a light will signal that they can be used and seatbelts can be unlocked. Thank you!”
I groaned and flopped back in my seat. A brother immediately attacked me in an effort to grab my IPod. I smacked him away rather forcefully, making him wail out loud. A second later he was silenced as my mother crushed him in a hug. The poor kid; Mom’s hugs were much more painful than my hits.
Three hours later, we were up in the air and heading off to Orlando for one hell of a vacation (I meant that in the literal sense). I was running out of songs, my patience already gone. I stood up and moved to the back of the plane once again. There was still another two hours of the flight left. I’d never make it through that. I started pacing, deciding what to do. Do I hide myself in a compartment? Lock myself in the bathroom? Throw myself out of the plane while it was still ten thousand feet up in the air?
Then, just as suddenly as I had started pacing, I stopped. I knew what I’d do. If my family couldn’t take subtle hints, maybe they’d recognize a direct order.
The tingle happened once again, but since nothing horrible had happened yet, I dismissed it as nerve problems. It was just a coincidence when I was a kid. Nothing more. I turned to start walking back, but stopped short when a huge groan sounded all around me. Something pinged, and a split second later some metal object hit my cheek. I caught it on the rebound and looked at it. It was a metal bolt, like one that holds armor plates together. I was still staring at it without comprehension when I was thrown against the wall by a huge jolt. Broken from my daze, I ran forward to get back to my seat.
And that was when the tail of the plane was ripped away. So much for that warning, huh?
Had I been one step behind where I was right then, I would have fallen with the rest of the plane. As it happens, it didn’t matter where I stood. It still wanted me.
When the tail was ripped away from the fuselage, I had just put a foot on safe ground, floor that wasn’t going to rip away. No one had turned around yet, and in that frozen moment it seemed like it hadn’t really happened, like it was all a particularly twisted daydream. I couldn’t see any faces, and nobody was turned towards me and looking disaster in the face. Nobody but him.
My father.
He had a hand in the doorway, with the other in a pocket, and was standing like a man without a care in the world. He wasn’t rigid with shock, even though his face showed it. His face was just a mask with eyeholes, and they were what gave him away. His eyes were wide, but not with fright. They danced wickedly, with almost a feverish glitter, as if he had just told a particularly funny joke.
And in that second, I knew he had caused this. I saw the hand in his pocket come out, and with perceptiveness beyond anything I had ever known, I knew what was going to happen. I knew all too well what was going to become of me. I watched it twitch out in something akin to a “Shoo” command. Wind rushed in front of me, gathering up into a mighty blast, and I could feel it rushing past me. Then my feet were suddenly lifted off the floor as the plane pitched again, and the wind rushed forward and slammed into me like a brick wall, lifting me up, and carrying me out.
And out.
And out.
And down.
And down.
And down…
And I saw one word form on his lips as I fell.
Goodbye.